


A World of Difference

by extremelyperturbed



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Adopted Loki, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Family Drama, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-10-14
Packaged: 2018-08-14 06:45:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 12,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8002426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/extremelyperturbed/pseuds/extremelyperturbed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written in response to this kinkmeme   http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/21013.html?thread=53644821#t53644821:  </p><p>"He's told that he's just a regular person who was knocked out by a nasty car accident. Thor is by the bed and tells him that he shouldn't have driven off half-cocked after learning that he was</p><p>1) adopted</p><p>2) or adopted but is really the result of Odin's affair with a woman who wasn't his wife that ran with a really bad crowd.</p><p>Loki tried to wield magic and nothing happens."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Loki opened his eyes and found himself in a hospital room, somewhere on Earth. He turned his head to see Thor sitting next to the bed. "What are you doing here?" he said.

"Me? I'm your brother."

"Again, why are you here? Don't you want me imprisoned?" Loki found it strange that his brother was wearing casual Earth clothes of sweats and a short-sleeved T-shirt. 

Thor looked appalled. "You're not going to jail. Luckily, you weren't drunk when you had a meltdown, ran to your car, peeled out of the driveway then proceeded to slam into a utility pole with no other casualties other than yourself. You're lucky you didn't get your neck broken, you damn fool!" snapped Thor.

"What?" said Loki. "Why would I do that?"

Thor groaned and rubbed his face. "You don't remember."

"I remember we were fighting . . ."

"When do we not fight?" said Thor. "It turns out . . ."

"Turns out . . ."

"You're adopted."

Loki frowned. As far as revelations went, this was rather flat. He had already found out when he had come back from Jotunheim and had confronted Odin about his true ancestry. "I believed I found this out long ago. What are you playing at?" 

"You've been unconscious for five days. I was afraid you'd never wake up. You might have suspected you were adopted. God knows you often joked about it since we were kids but you never actually knew for certain until just a few days ago."

Loki was becoming weary of seeing his brother's face full of faux concern. "Why would a mere car accident throw me into a coma?" he said, trying to get up. However, he felt dizzy and weak. Thor pushed him down which pissed him off immensely. He tried to generate enough cold to freeze Thor's hands only to find that he didn't feel the same sensation he always felt when generating magic. 

"If you saw the condition the car is in, you wouldn't call it 'mere.' I know you don't want me here so I'm going to get mom here. I know, at least, that you wouldn't mind seeing her."

Loki slumped back in his hospital bed. Something's wrong, he thought. This impression was confirmed when Frigga came in, wearing not a regal dress but a green blouse with blue slacks. "Why are you dressed like that?' he said.

"I'm visiting in you in the hospital, not going to one of your father's functions," she said.

***

He can't figure out whether he's been thrown into another universe whose rules are similar but different enough that he's powerless or under an amazing well-constructed illusion. They take him home and it's a beautiful, big house with two stories filled with tasteful antiques and crass sports trophies. He begs off interaction and spends much of his day along as the rest of his family let him stay in his old room. Through careful research on the computer and some discreet questioning, he managed to figure out who he is in this strange place.

He's just joined a technology start-up with Tony Stark, a young millionaire, and his scientist friend, Bruce Banner. They met in college and are apparently quite chummy enough to live in an apartment together. It was strange to think that he had friends, especially two who would consider him enemies before. His mother was a professor who taught about Vikings and Norse mythology at the university.

His brother, Thor, was no heir apparent to a throne but was actually a former Olympian who had not only did the hammer throw as his event but also the javelin. Being noteworthy for winning gold in two different events coupled with a confident and easy manner with the media and blond good lucks, he had managed to parlay that into a career of endorsements, modeling, personal training and even some acting. Thor had quite a few friends who were also former Olympians including Steve Rogers, a discus thrower, and Clint Barton, an archer. 

It also turns out that like on Asgard, a head coach like his father out earned and outranked his mother, a tenured professor, on campus due to his multiple seasons of coaching the football team to multiple bowl games. While his mother was well-respected in academic circles, his father was much more famous to the layperson. 

"Of course," said Loki. Even in another universe, physical prowess was all that mattered. He wanted to roll his eyes so hard. 

He told his mother to go back to teaching as he could take care of himself. Also, as Thor was going to be there during the day, it was utterly redundant to have two caretakers. 

During lunch of sandwiches and canned soup, Thor frowned. "Are you all right? You've been acting as if you had forgotten some things."

Well, Loki thought. Thor's not a complete imbecile. "I'm a little shaky but I'm sure it'll settle in a little while."

"I'm the one who has to call 911 if blood starts pouring out of your ears and you . . ."

"Please, you'd be happy to be finally the only one who gets attention," said Loki.

"Knock it off with that crap. I don't control how dad acts."

"You don't get to tell me how I should feel. I don't want to talk to him. I don't want to see him. I don't have to listen to someone who is not my father. I'm not talking biologically. As far as I care, I only had one parent and that's Frigga." Odin had left town while Loki was in the hospital due to the team having to play at another campus. 

For once, Thor did not contradict him about his father. "I didn't know, you know. I just thought recessive genes. I just want to say I wasn't a part of keeping it from you."

Loki shrugged. "You suffer from verbal diarrhea so I know you're not the type to keep something that huge away from me."

"I don't suffer from verbal diarrhea."

"I might suffer from the physical one if your cooking keeps being this bad."

"Shut up!"

***  
"Hey, Loki," said Tony, all energy and gladness as his roommates welcome back to their apartment with a big pizza and some beers.

"Where's your goatee?" said Loki.

"What? I haven't had that in months."

"I'm a bit confused," said Loki, "So, I need you to be patient with me sometimes."

"Are you all right?" said Bruce. 

"Just my head hitting the airbag," said Loki. "I might say some random things." He had decided that declaring himself to be a god especially without being able to do anything magic was counterproductive. He was going to go through the motions until he figured out a way to get back to where he belonged.

They discuss some of the devices they're working on. Fortunately, he still understands technology and even knows how to create improvements. 

Tony whistles in appreciation. "At least the tech part of your brain still works."

"I can't see how you can eat this with meat toppings. It's so greasy," said Loki. The pizza was half vegetarian garden and half meat lover's fantasy. Only the veggie half was tolerable though the beer was fine.

"Boy needs his protein," said Tony.

"More like a heart attack," said Bruce. He had eaten one slice of the meat slices then took two slices of the vegetarian version.

"So do you two know why I got into that accident?"

Tony and Bruce share a look before Bruce said, "I know there was a huge blow out, I mean much bigger than usual."

"It turns out that I'm adopted and they didn't tell me."

"That's terrible," said Bruce. 

"But it makes my whole life make sense." He's actually happy to see actual concern on their faces.

"Are you going to contact your birth parents? Are they still alive?" said Tony.

"I . . . I hadn't thought of it. I don't remember much of the argument before the accident. I suppose I'll have to ask my mother."


	2. Chapter 2

"Not today, though."

"No."

***

During the night, he thought of ways of trying to find out if his mind was trapped in an illusion or if he was physically in a different universe. He frowned. It took a lot of energy to mentally trap someone in a highly convincing dream world for this length of time, especially if the person trapped suspected they were in a dream world and was a high level magic user. Also, someone trying to mentally trap him and keep him unaware of being trapped would have chosen to put him in an Asgard built to Loki's liking where he was King and not this. 

He had also been a lucid dreamer. Early on, he had figured out ways to realize one was in a dream state and bend the rules of the dream to his liking. This did not feel like any dream he had ever been lucid in. This particular realm behaved like his former waking universe with physical laws remaining stable and no sudden weird jumps in continuity but the quiet steady plodding of real time. If I have a dream tonight, will I be dreaming inside a dream, he thought. Perhaps I could try tunneling my way out that way.

I am a Frost Giant, he thought. Perhaps I should see how I react to cold. He went to the freezer and pulled out an ice cube and squeezed it in his hand. It felt cold to him, unpleasantly chilly, and his hand began feeling a little numb. That's a normal human or Asgardian reaction, he thought. Not how someone from Jotunheim reacts. He dropped the ice cube in the sink and wiped his hands dry. 

Perhaps there was a space-time anomaly, he thought. I wonder if I switched places with someone. He suddenly felt a little pity for his counterpart. He's probably in jail right now or wondering why my brother and his friends are bullying him, he thought. 

I will build a space-time distortion detector, he thought, with the dreadfully primitive tools available to me. Though that will take time.

***

The next morning he woke up disappointed. He had managed to have a lucid dream only to find that it was like any other lucid dream he had ever had, fun but uninformative. He got up and went to his desk. He tried to pull the drawers open but they were locked. He took out the ring of keys he had found in his jacket pocket and used one that seemed like it would fit. He picked correctly and the drawers slid open. Inside were pens and pencils and a calculator. There were also notebooks full of technical notes on the various projects he was working with Tony and Bruce on. They were all in his handwriting and he understood it all completely, but he had no memory of ever having written them in the first place. 

He then saw an old thick journal that had a lock on it. None of the keys on his ring seemed to fit into it. He considered breaking it open but decided to put it away unopened. I will deal with it later, he thought. It was obvious that there were things in there he wanted to keep secret and he didn't want to damage the lock if he didn't have to. 

There was a knock on his door. "Yo, breakfast is ready!" said Tony. 

"I'm not really that . . ." 

"It's already made and it won't disappear by itself!" 

Loki scowled. He walked out to see that there was already scrambled eggs and small chicken apple sausages on his plate. "I don't need any seconds. This is plenty."

"You eat like a bird. You kinda look like one, too."

"I'm not Thor, you know. He's the one who puts away insane amounts of food to fuel that body of his. I often want to put a funnel in his mouth and just pour down a bucket of warm gravy." 

"Kinky." Tony waggled his eyebrows and Loki rolled his eyes at that. 

"Hi, Loki," said Bruce as he walked into the room and sat down at his own plate of eggs and sausages. 

"Hello, Bruce."

Bruce took a bite. "It's actually edible. Last time, you insisted on using that awful stinky cheese. You seem to be in a very good mood today, why?"

"Pepper has agreed to join our startup."

"Pepper?" said Loki.

"Tony's friend," said Bruce. "She's going to help run the place with her doing the mechanics of running the company and hiring the right people to run the office and balance the books while we concentrate on development and tech."

"You sound approving," said Loki.

"She's got a solid education and experience as an assistant to a CEO, who basically had her do a lot of the work. She also knows how to deal with Tony, which is a big plus. She is not just a pretty face."

"That's fine then," said Loki. The sausages weren't gross and the eggs were fluffy so breakfast was tolerable.

"So, are you going to talk to your mother about . . ."

"I plan to," said Loki. He had mixed feelings about this. This isn't really about me, he thought, but since everything seems to have started with the announcement my counterpart was adopted, I may have to go there. It may be the only way I can straighten things out.

"I'll give you a ride," said Bruce. 

"Ride?"

"Well, yeah, your car . . . it was totaled."

***

As Bruce was driving him to his parents' house, Loki said, "Do you mind if we stop where I had the accident?"

"Sure."

The utility pole was still standing though there was a huge part at knee level that was colored silver, presumably from the car paint smeared on it from the collision. Loki felt nothing that indicated that this was anything other than a haphazard incident.

"Loki?"

"Yes?"

"You weren't trying to hurt yourself, were you?"

"What? Absolutely not."

"Just checking."

Loki turned to face Bruce. He saw that Bruce's usually calm face was a little sad. "I am the last person to ever consider destroying myself, especially if it would please others that I be gone."

Bruce looked even sadder. "Nobody wants you gone, Loki."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I remember hearing that one way to check if one is in reality and one is in a realistic dream is to do something like this: If there's a light switch or a lamp, try to turn it on or off, a state different from its current state. If it just remains in its current state no matter what you do, that's a sign that you might be in a dream. 
> 
> In this verse, the ages of Loki, Tony and Banner are about twenty-five with Thor a few years older.


	3. Chapter 3

Loki was about to say something sharp then sighed. "I want to walk the rest of the way. Do you mind? I just need time to think."

"No. I can park here."

As they walked to his parents' house, Loki said, "Sometimes . . . Do things seem like it's all one big weird dream?" Perhaps, Bruce Banner is also stuck in this as well, he thought. Maybe I'm not alone in this. However, he might not want to go back to a situation where he suddenly morphs into an insanely strong and destructive green giant. 

Bruce shook his head. "I think my problem is that sometimes things get all too real. I need to pull back because I sometimes feel too intensely. I know enough that being full of anger is a bad thing."

Loki understood the point Bruce was making with his last sentence. "I'm not full of anger. I feel contempt and an unending river of irritation."

"That's anger, Loki."

"Will you be there or do you have to go somewhere else?"

Bruce looked slightly surprised but touched. "I'll be there if you want me to be there."

"I should warn you. With the way misfortune seems to be dogging my heels, lightning might make its way through an open window to strike me dead. If you sit too close, it might hit you too."

Bruce laughed. 

***

"What is Thor doing here?" said Loki as he walked into the kitchen. She had told him she was going to leave the back door open. 

"He's family. I asked him here," said Frigga. Both were sitting at the table, looking terribly exasperated though Loki thought Thor looked a mite constipated as well. 

Thor said, "Considering what happened last time, I believe my presence . . ."

"Fine, stay, do whatever you want," said Loki. He couldn't bring himself to argue with her even if he had to look at that hideous face. 

"What's Bruce doing here?"

"I asked him here to stay," said Loki. "I don't remember what happened."

"You don't?" said Thor.

"It's called retrograde amnesia," said Loki. "Read a book sometimes."

"You are such a . . ."

"Just stop!" said Frigga.

"I really can't remember what happened before," said Loki sullenly. He scarcely saw much value in telling the truth when he got more flack for it than a good lie. 

Frigga sighed. "Ever since you were little, you always wondered why you didn't look like the rest of the family. You asked me whether you were adopted when you were in grade school because you couldn't figure out how you could have such dark hair and why you were so different from Thor. I told you that you were family and family members didn't have to be the same to be family. You hadn't talked about it for years so when you came in with a cotton swab asking if you could swab the inside of my cheek so you could send it out for DNA testing, it was a shock."

"Then what happened?" said Bruce.

"I said no but Loki said that if I really did give birth to him, I would have snatched up the swab from his hand and done it myself while muttering about how persistent he was. He said my refusal to do so was the proof he needed," she said. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" said Loki. "It was father, wasn't it? He wanted to keep it all hidden."

"It's true that your father insisted on keeping your adoption secret, I still hold responsibility for not telling you anyway. I should've gone against his wishes. He doesn't know that you know yet."

"I prefer he not know that I know. It's time for the shoe to be on the other foot for once," said Loki. Secrets are power, he thought. 

"Do you hate me?" said Frigga.

"I could never hate you but I can be mad at you," said Loki. 

Bruce sighed. 

Loki continued, "You could have saved me a lot of time that I spent wondering why he favored Thor so much while he couldn't seem to bear staying in the next room with me. It's because . . ."

"There's something else you need to know," said Frigga.

"What else?"

"I may not have given birth to you but Odin really is your father."

Loki blinked several times before his brain would allow him to comprehend what she was trying to tell him. "Are you telling me that I'm a product of an affair he had with someone else?"

"Mom?" said Thor. "Is this true?"

Frigga nodded, tears going down her face.

"How . . . how could you stand to raise me? Every time you looked at me . . ." said Loki. It boggled his mind that she could love him and care for him even more than his biological father when he was living proof that her husband was a cheater and a liar. He barely felt Bruce put his hand on top of his. He glanced at Thor and saw that Thor really looked shocked at this revelation. His mind whirred about the many implications. Of course, she wouldn't want to talk about it, he thought.


	4. Chapter 4

Frigga managed a smile. "Because you're my child. Before I had Thor, I had three miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy, which meant that I had to go to the hospital and have emergency surgery before it ruptured my fallopian tube. My pregnancy with Thor was not an easy one. I had hyperemesis gravidarum. It's like a very intense morning sickness except that it lasted throughout the pregnancy. Even with medication, I was quite queasy. Even so, I still wanted another child. After seeing how hard it was on my body, I talked to your father about adoption though he's the type to consider being related by blood important."

"Considering the circumstances, I'd think I'd be the last child you would have wanted to adopt . . ." said Loki, feeling very small. She was basically the only one who could make him feel tiny without making him feel full of wrath. 

Frigga frowned. "I won't lie. I was enraged when he confessed to me about the affair and the fact that she was pregnant. I told him that he was to sleep in the guest room as long as I saw fit. I did consider my options including taking Thor and leaving him. I know you've never seen him do anything like this but he got down on his knees and wept and asked for my forgiveness. I told him I wanted to talk to the girl before I'd make any decisions . . ."

"What was she like?" said Loki.

"She . . . she was a lot like you, physically. She had black hair, fine features and very thin. I looked at her and realized she wasn't much more than a child, at least to me. She wasn't another professor on campus or someone who worked as an admin. She was a freshman student on campus."

Thor moaned into his hands.

Loki thought that he should feel vindicated for disliking Odin so much for so long but he only ended up feeling angry on behalf of both the mother who raised him and the woman who gave birth to him. "What did she say to you?"

"She said that she didn't want to have an abortion but she was here on a full scholarship with no help from her family. She said that there was no way she could go to school and be a single mother at the same time and that going home was not an option for her. She was really scared."

"Whose idea was it? I mean for you to adopt me . . ."

"It was mine. She reacted the same way you're doing now. I know that it's hard for you to understand, considering how you nurse grudges but I couldn't hold on to the resentment I felt towards her when I actually saw her. I hadn't even discussed it with Odin when I said that we would adopt the baby . . ."

"How did he react?"

"Odin? He sputtered, he protested, he said a lot of things I did not pay attention to at the time. I had done research about adopting a child and heard how hard and expensive and time consuming it could be. I told him if that I was going to adopt the child privately and that if he didn't want to be part of that, he could leave."

"What happened to her?"

"Odin managed to pull some strings so she could take a semester off without losing her scholarship. She gave birth doing the summer. She didn't really gain that much weight and you were a preemie. Only her roommate and best friend knew what was going on and she kept her mouth shut. After that, she finished college. I lost touch with her a short time after that."

"Her name . . ."

"It was Leah Laufeyson. If you'll please excuse me, I think I have to lie down for a . . ." Frigga looked utterly drained.

"Of course," said Loki. "Mother?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you. And you know I mean that."

"I know," she said as she left the room.

"Loki," said Thor. "I didn't know any of this. Dad didn't tell me a thing."

Loki nodded. "I believe you. Why would he tell you anything that made him look anything less than golden?"

"I'm saying I wouldn't have kept anything like this from you."

"Yeah, why waste good ammo?"

"Why must you always twist everything I say into something horrible?" said Thor going from loud then to a hissed whisper, obviously hoping not to awaken their mother.

"Bruce, let's go . . ."

As Bruce and Loki walked out of the house, Thor said, "Loki, we should talk about this."

"Why?" said Loki.

"Because it changes things."

"If you mean, i think even less of our father than before then yes, it changes things."

"Maybe you two should talk," said Bruce.

"Et tu, Bruce?" said Loki.

Bruce gave Loki a look. "If things go haywire, I'll pick you up. Just hear him out. You both just got a hell of a bombshell and you should deal with it . . ."

"I've got beer at my place," said Thor. 

Loki gave him the stink eye.

"It's good beer," said Thor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://www.webmd.com/baby/guide/pregnancy-ectopic-pregnancy#1 It describes the condition of ectopic pregnancy. Fortunately, they can often fix the problem while maintaining the integrity of the fallopian tube. 
> 
> Hyperemesis gravidarum is a real condition, in the media fairly recently due to it being suffered by Princess Catherine, often referred to as Kate Middleton.
> 
> I've seen it noted that Loki has genuine affection for Frigga in the movies. I can only surmise that he never doubted her love for him. I always wondered what the hell Odin said to her after he picked up the Jotunn baby and went home.


	5. Chapter 5

It was a nice condo that was a few miles away from their parents' house. Loki briefly wondered why Thor didn't have something bigger. "I thought you would have gotten something bigger for parties."

"I'm away all the time and I've been too busy to party," said Thor. 

"Is there anybody else living in there?"

"No, not now. Why?"

"I'd hate for someone to interrupt our conversation and prolong it," said Loki. He had wondered if Thor was dating Jane or Sif in this verse. Not that it really mattered since he could say that he had either forgotten or had not cared to remember in the first place. 

"No chance of that," said Thor. 

Thor parked his car and opened the front door. After removing their shoes, they go the kitchen where Thor reached into the fridge and pulled out two small beers. He opened them both and gave one to Loki.

"How is it?" said Thor.

Loki shrugged after taking a sip. "It's passable." 

"You know . . . I feel like such a fool sticking up for dad all this time, always going on about how he didn't mean to come off as such a dick. Now I find out that he really was one," said Thor.

"That's interesting to hear."

"He cheated on her while she was still potty training me. What kind of husband and father does that?"

"You're not grossed out that you ended up having me in the family?"

"No, as far as I care, you and your birth mother were collateral damage too. She's just barely out of high school at the time, probably nineteen. I remember being nineteen, it was a crazy, confusing time for me."

"What are you talking about? You were training for the Olympics."

"It doesn't mean that it wasn't crazy as hell. Nineteen is nineteen."

Loki thought it over. At least, Thor wasn't blaming his birth mother for seducing their father and getting him in trouble. It annoyed him greatly to give Thor some credit on that part. "I'm glad you're not blaming her."

"He's the one who made the vows. I did some quick calculations in my head. He was twice as old as she was at the time. What are you going to do? I mean, are you going to try and find her?"

"I think I might have to. I need to figure out what I'm doing in this world," he said. "That's if she wants to see me. I don't want to bother mother for more clues. I'll just hire a private investigator to find her for me." 

"I wish you luck."

"I still don't understand why she stayed with our father. I mean our mother . . ."

Thor thought about it for a moment after taking a swig of beer. "Any divorce would be very ugly and I think she'd want to keep any kind of dirty laundry from being revealed, especially involving you. A lot of their friends would have to take sides and then there's the fact they work on the same campus. Also, I know he never wanted to leave her."

"Really?"

"I remember shortly after you were born, they had this argument and she goes out for a walk. He sits down on his chair as usual and reads the paper. A half hour goes by and he starts glancing at the clock. An hour goes by and he's looking out the window. A few minutes later, he starts to pace. A half hour later, he picks up his keys, hesitates and then asks if I want to go for a ride. Back then, she didn't have a cell phone so he couldn't call her. He's about to go out looking for her with no idea where she is when suddenly he perks up at the window, rushes to the kitchen to put the kettle on, and tells me to hush. A few minutes later, she comes in, looking tired and he's asking if she'd like tea or coffee. I thought it was funny at the time but I guess I now know why he was so jumpy."

"Not exactly the most romantic thing I've ever heard. But I get your point."

"Loki, how about we start over again?"

"What do you mean?"

"We used to . . . We really used to be really brothers . . ."

"I think we have to be realistic here. I think the damage is done. I think that I can try to be more civil but we don't get along. I can't feel what's not there. You realizing dad is capable of being less then a god doesn't fix everything."

"I don't expect it to be overnight but how about we try?"

"No. Besides, I don't like to hang out with you and your friends."

"You don't even know my friends. Steve is now a graphic designer who also has some work in galleries in New York and San Francisco. His boyfriend Bucky has a small company that makes prosthetics. Jane is an astrophysicist so you can't claim she doesn't have brain power. Besides practicing for the next Olympics, Clint is going to be treading the boards in the Shakespeare During the Summer festival."

"As what?"

"As Mercutio in Romeo and Juliet."

"Him as Mercutio?" 

"Yes."

"That's . . . amazing." Loki decided not to say anything more about that.

***

"So, how did things go down with Thor?" said Bruce as Loki walked through the door of their apartment.

"Better than usual. Unfortunately, he seems to think we should be friends now . . ."

"Isn't that better?"

Loki gave Bruce a look. "It's happening again."

"What's happening again?"

"Even long distance, he does that charm thing where he just smiles and everybody's all 'Why don't you love him as much as we do?' It's because I know him better. He farts and goes to the bathroom like everybody else."

"Tony, please talk some sense into him."


	6. Chapter 6

Tony said, "My dear prickly pear."

Loki groaned. "I am not a pear."

"Porcupine? Grumpy Cat? Anyway, your dad sucks. I know a lot about having a Vaderesque father. I think your dad and my dad are either competing for the Sucky Dad of the Year trophy or they're comparing notes. You have my deepest sympathies. As for Thor . . . You should feel sorry for him because you are totally kicking his ass."

"What?" 

Tony went to his desk and picked up a a picture of Howard Stark, young and cocky, at the Modern Marvels of Tomorrow exhibition. "This is my dad,inventor and industrialist. Worked up from pretty much nothing to become a head of a major company even if he was a ladies' man even after marrying my mom. 

After he put it down, Tony picked up a picture of Steve Jobs. "This guy co-founded Apple and made Pixar possible.

Tony tossed it aside and showed him a picture of Bill Gates. "This man is worth about ninety billion dollars after co-founding Microsoft, and is a worldwide philanthropist.

After tossing that one aside, Tony picked up the book Cosmos. "The miniseries based on this book has been seen by at least half a billion people and the author has written more than six hundred scientific papers. He's won a Peabody, a Pulitzer, two Emmy Awards and the Hugo Award.

"Now I know that your Daddy Dearest poured all his love and affection into his literal golden boy. But I'm going to let you in on a secret. Unless his acting gets a lot better, he's fated to become little more than an answer to a very hard trivia question. You on the other hand are part of a company that's going to revolutionize the world. We're going to give the world cheap, clean energy; amazing robotics, self-driving cars and drive a nail through stupidity and woo. Why pine to be someone who doesn't rate a Jeopardy question? The problem is that you need to think bigger. Who is going to care about some guy throwing a stick or ball connected to a chain when we take over the world?"

"You . . . have a point," said Loki slowly.

"Of course, I do. If you insist on having a daddy complex, you can call me daddy."

"Ughhh," said Loki. "No!"

Tony pouted. "You're so mean to me."

"Am not."

"I say we have a pajama party."

"What?" said Loki.

"We haven't had one in a long time," said Bruce. "Come on, Loki, get into your pajamas and let's all watch a movie together and pig out on popcorn and candy."

"It's still the afternoon."

"Doesn't matter," said Tony. 

***

They were all lying on top of Tony's king-size bed in their pajamas with a big bowl of buttered popcorn. "Aren't you worried about the bed becoming filthy?" said Loki. 

"You say that every time," said Tony. 

"What are we watching?"

"The Iron Giant . . ."

"Iron Giant?"

"Underrated classic! Directed by Brad Bird. It did terrible at the box office because they didn't market it at all."

"What's it about?"

"Just watch . . ."

As they watched the movie, Loki thought about how things were on Asgard. He can't say that he really had any friends. While he had hung out with Thor's friends, they were primarily Thor's friends and not his. It was nice to have friends that were truly his friends and preferred his company to that of Thor's. He briefly thought about taking them back with him but then dismissed the idea. He still wondered why he was in this particular universe. 

"Penny for your thoughts," said Tony.

"I was just thinking that if there was a parallel universe, how you'd react to meeting your doppleganger?" said Loki. 

"I think it would be cool. Unless the universe was super crappy and he was a mean asshole. Why?"

"Suppose I hadn't been adopted? We might have never met."

"Then that's a super crappy universe then."

Loki smiled at that. "Suppose you could do magic or super powers . . ."

Bruce said, "It depends on the power and the cost of that power. If it cut my life really short or it made me a total pariah, I might not want it. Suppose I became extra strong but I'd be hideously deformed? Being invisible would only have limited applications. It would be of great worth if one was a spy or a fugitive or an assassin but otherwise the only person who would really enjoy it would be a Peeping Tom. Most of the stories I've read seems to be all about the conflicts they have between super powered people then actually anything great they do with the powers collectively like kick the space race back into gear or create better crops."

"And you, Tony?"

"I'm reminded of the Arthur C. Clarke quote that any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic," said Tony. "What we're doing now would be considered magic to people four hundred years ago. What we'll be doing in a few years will be magic to the people now. We're already there."

Loki found their replies to be serious and well-thought. He wanted to dispute them but couldn't quite find the words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prickly pear is an actual food item. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opuntia#Edible_varieties You have to pull the spines out or burn them off.
> 
> The author of Cosmos is Carl Sagan. 
> 
> I actually recommend the movie The Iron Giant, an animated movie directed by Brad Bird. https://youtu.be/obLtyj8hfFk is a trailer.


	7. Chapter 7

There was a banging on the apartment door with someone yelling, "Loki, this is your father!"

"Search your feelings, you know it to be true!" said Tony.

"I've got to get up," said Loki.

"Do you want us to come out with you?" said Bruce.

"No, just keep watching the movie. If we get too loud, just turn up the volume."

Loki went to the door and opened it to see his father, dressed in black slacks and a blue button-up shirt. "Father?"

"Why are you in pajamas? Do you know what time it is?"

"My friends and I were taking a short break," said Loki. "Why are you here?"

"We must talk about what happened," said Odin, stepping into the apartment. 

"How about we talk in the kitchen? They're watching a movie so . . ."

"Fine," said Odin.

They sat down. With little preamble, Odin said, "So, you found out."

"Yes, no thanks to you."

"You really upset your mother, you know."

"I upset mother! Me! Really?" Loki could feel his blood pressure rising.

"Your mother and I worked through that years ago and then you had to bring it back up and get into a car accident that you were lucky to survive." Odin scowled. 

"I deserved the truth. And you kept it from me."

"Because I didn't want you to ever throw that she didn't give birth to you in her face! I had already caused her enough pain as it was, I didn't want you to ever say that to mock her."

"I love mother. You know that."

"I love her too. Think what you like about me but believe this one thing. If she were to leave me, my soul would wither and die." 

"Then how did it happen? Why was I born?"

Odin deflated slightly. "I married your mother shortly after I got my first coaching job. She was still working on finishing her doctorate. I thought that after she got her first professorship, we'd start on our family and everything about fall into place.

"However, it seems as if the universe seemed against us having children. Neither of us tested as having anything wrong yet it seems the seed would sprout and then wither before the third month had ended . . . When she finally became pregnant with Thor, she didn't want to tell anybody until well into the fifth month and only because she was starting to show. 

"But Thor was born," said Loki. 

"Yes, he was. Frigga took maternity leave to bond with him and recover. We hired a nanny because she eventually wanted to go back to work but wanted a caretaker devoted to him rather than put him in daycare."

"It sounds utopian so again why?" 

"I had completed a season that was an utter catastrophe. I knew that if I had a repeat of that season, my job would be in peril. And this while Frigga was off work with a new baby . . ."

"Did she know?"

"How could I tell her? She was busy with Thor and it was my job to provide, damn it!" he said. "She knew enough that my team didn't do well but she had no idea how close I was to . . ." Odin stopped to take a breath. "She was totally wrapped up in taking care of him. I felt neglected."

"Are you trying to blame her?" snapped Loki.

"No, I am just trying to explain why things happened. I was also wondering if this was as far as I was going in terms of my career. I was not going to get any younger and it was in this frame of my mind I met her."

"What was she like?"

"She was a very beautiful girl. I'm not saying this because she was nineteen and thought that I was more interesting than boys her own age. She had dark hair, fine features, and the look of someone you'd think would be painted by a master painter of the Renaissance. It was very flattering at the time when I was feeling very low. And I imagine that being paid attention to by a mature man of some standing when one is alone and in a strange place made one feel special."

"How long did this last?"

"Not very long. It was a matter of a few months. It ended the day she told me she was pregnant. I was faced with the idea of losing Frigga and Thor forever. I was terrified. All I could do was throw myself on Frigga's mercy."

All this profoundly depressed Loki. "What happened to her?"

"She finished college. After that, I do not know."

"Why are you telling me all this now?" Loki knew that his father had his own reasons for doing things.

"Because I don't want you to keep poking and prodding about it. You have the answers you wanted, isn't that enough? You should pray that you don't do something just as bad and then depend on the forgiveness of others."

Loki wondered why almost everybody else in this universe seemed to be more bearable except his father. "This is all I can take right now," said Loki. "Please go home."

"Loki!"

"This is my apartment and I need you to leave."

Odin got up and walked out of the apartment. Loki got up and locked the door behind him.

Tony poked his head out of his bedroom. "So, how was Darth Odin?"

"Very Darthy," said Loki. Whatever that means, he thought. "I'm going to be in my room."

"Loki, come on."

"Let him be. Something even a good movie can't help," Loki heard Bruce say before he closed the door to his room.

He began looking up a detective agency.

***

"Arachnid Investigations?" said Loki as he sat in the chair opposite the private investigator Natasha Romanoff. "Aren't arachnids spiders?"

"Spiders are part of the arachnid class," she said. "A good many of our investigations involve showing that spouses are indeed straying behind their spouses' back. We weave a little web and see if the fly stumbles into it. However, that's not the only thing we do. We also find missing friends and families or do surveillance if you think a neighbor is the one stripping your fruit tree or stealing your packages."

"I'm looking for my birth mother." She felt familiar to him though in a way that made him glad she did not remember him. 

"I looked at the intake sheet that Wanda had you fill out. You not only want to find her but know if she is someone you'd like to know."

Loki nodded. "The mother who raised me . . . I don't want someone who's interested in trying to replace her."

"You want to make sure that she's stable and knows how to handle boundaries."

"Yes."

"I'd like to give you some advice. I've done a few investigations. While many clients do feel like a certain piece has clicked into place upon meeting their relatives, often I've had customers still feel a sense of alienation from their birth parents. Or in a few unfortunate cases, they feel utter revulsion when it turns out that the birth parents' prime interest in them is monetary. Fortunately, I'm good at figuring out who's worth knowing."

"Can I ask you regarding your qualifications?"

"I'm licensed," she said, giving him a business card with her license number. "I have been in the business for over eight years. I'm also fully insured. And everything will be outlined in a written contract. Because you want me to actually see her in person and get a feel for her, this will be on the expensive side. A thousand dollars as a retainer plus expenses."

"Agreed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have heard of fathers who end up feeling a bit jealous of their new baby taking so much of their wife's time. Also since Frigga took time off and Odin did not, he did not bond with baby!Thor early on. I'm not justifying his behavior but showing that a perfect storm of mid-life crisis, new parenthood after years of problems conceiving, and feelings of inadequacy involving his career helped Odin cross a line that he shouldn't.


	8. Chapter 8

Loki sighed as he looked at the design of the space-time distortion detector using the available current technology on Earth. It would work but the problem was that it needed an incredible amount of energy in order to function on the order of the entire output of a power plant. A half-dozen of Tony's miniature arc reactors would do the trick except that there was just the one prototype with mass production being a long way off. By that time, the distortion would have already dissipated. 

He walked out of his room, irritated. He noticed Bruce and Tony watching the television. "What are you watching?"

"It's a marathon of the Star Trek the original series," said Tony. "We're watching the episode called 'City on the Edge of Forever.'"

Loki noticed on the screen a man with dark hair saying, "I am endeavoring ma'am to construct a mnemonic memory circuit using stone knives and bear skin." Loki sighed. "I know how he feels."

"What's that you got in your hand?" said Bruce.

"It's nothing," said Loki, folding the design he had brought with him into a square small enough to squirrel away in his pocket.

"Let us see."

Loki handed it to them. Bruce and Tony looked at it. "What exactly does it do?"

"It's supposed to detect space-time distortions."

"Why?"

After a second of thinking up a plausible excuse, Loki said, "Humankind has been trying to find proof of alien life for decades but it's not like they're going to land in the middle of New York and announce themselves." At least it doesn't seem that way in this universe, he thought. "However, if they are traveling using warp propulsion then their temporary distortion of the space-time continuum should be detectable."

"That sounds interesting," said Tony. "We should totally make this."

"Yeah," said Bruce.

"Really?" said Loki. 

"Damn right, proof of intelligent alien life would totally etch our names in the history books!" said Tony.

"How long would it take?" said Loki, perking up slightly.

"A year? These are some pretty demanding specs."

"Oh." He deflated upon hearing that. 

"Don't worry, the space traffic won't disappear. You'll get your Nobel Science prize. Now come on and sit down."

"I'm going to check the mail," said Bruce.

"I don't remember how old this show is," said Loki as he sat down next to Tony.

"Fifty years."

"No wonder the special effects are lacking," said Loki.

"You don't watch the original series for special effects. You watch it for William Shatner emoting and its humanist themes wrapped in optimism," said Tony, pointing at the blond lead of the show.

"How about despite William Shatner emoting?" said Loki, side eying Captain Kirk. The man reminded him of a certain relative. 

Before they could start arguing about Shatner's thespian abilities, Bruce came in. "Loki, you got something."

Loki glanced at it and saw it was from Thor. "You can throw it into the fireplace."

"Without opening it?" said Bruce.

Tony got up, snatched it and opened it up. "You are cordially invited to a dinner party . . . It's from your favorite brother. It's even got gold calligraphy and says you can invite as many as you want as long as you RSVP by this Saturday."

"If you want to go, you can go," said Loki, waving it away from him like a disgusting bug. "I hate dinner parties." 

"He won't let us into the house without you. Even if he did, he'll scowl at us the entire time and think we're a pair of moochers. We can't go unless you go," said Tony.

"You said yourself that things have been better than usual," said Bruce.

"A stink bomb is better than a nuclear bomb but I have no desire for either," said Loki.

"I wish I had a brother," said Tony.

"You still want one after you've seen my relationship with Thor? Do you have secret masochistic tendencies I've previously ignored? I got an idea, take off your belt and flog yourself with it, you'll enjoy it more."

"Holy shit," said Tony. "Now I've got a boner."

Loki scowled. "Perhaps I should try being a hermit." 

"At least call him to say you won't go," said Bruce. "Don't ghost him. I once ghosted someone, I've regretted it ever since."

"Bruce!" said Tony. "I want to go . . ."

Loki went back to his room. He picked up the phone and punched in Thor's number.

"Hello?"

"It's me," said Loki. "You probably know why I'm calling."

"You received my invitation?" said Thor, sounding rather cheerful. 

"Yes, I'm not going. Can I send Bruce and Tony instead?"

"No, if they're your guests, you have to accompany them. Dad's not going to be there. If that's what . . ."

"I thought you didn't throw parties there."

"I changed my mind."

"You should know by now that I'm utterly impervious to guilt and any sort of emotional blackmail."

"Damn it, Loki, it's important."

"Are you dying?"

"What? No!"

"Are you getting married? Are you going bald?"

"I don't want to be seventy years old and realize I haven't talked to my brother in more than forty years."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://youtu.be/yfJXd0rSCqo This is the exact quote that Spock says when irritated by how primitive 20th century Earth technology is. As a side note, if you really watch the TV series, Spock is hella snarky.


	9. Chapter 9

Loki found himself speechless for a second. "You presume to think you can stop me from talking?"

Thor laughed at that. "You can flee back to the bat cave right after dinner. Bring a team of sumo wrestlers if you think that'll bankrupt me. Just come."

"I will give it some small consideration."

"Call me on Saturday."

"Fine."

"Bye."

Loki hung up. 

"Are we going?" yelled Tony.

"I doubt it."

"But you did not say no."

***

Loki found himself awake at three in the morning. It looks like a technological fix for my situation is out of the question, he thought. And if the only thing that happens when I meet Leah is that I meet a woman who looks like me instead of the person behind all this then that means that avenue was a dead end. 

However, he also began thinking about what he would be returning to. Most likely, I would rule over a people who would gladly wish to overthrow me and put my head on a pike. He briefly imagined Sif and Heimdall leading an army towards the palace. 

Also, I'd have to fight Thor to the death and that would break mother's heart. Also, I would have no real friends. Of course, there are countless number of allies I could find who would support me in taking over planets but nobody I would not have to watch constantly in order to keep them from stabbing me in the back. I'd have my magic back, he thought. But then as the Bruce here would point out, so would many of the people against me.

Suppose I'm stuck here. Suppose this is my life and body from now on. It felt odd when those thoughts didn't make him feel infinite rage or the blackest disappointment. He did have the stray thought of seeing if throwing himself off a building would kill him or would cause him to wake somewhere else where he could confront whoever was setting this up.

But why would someone set this up, he thought. If it was someone who hated him, he would be somewhere much more hellish. 

Another idea came to him as if from the darkness. Am I mad? Did I imagine my entire past? 

***

"Steve Jobs did not have to do this," moaned Tony as Pepper drove them to a tailor she knew.

"You're not Steve Jobs yet and you need to dress up a little if you're going to convince people to give you money," said Pepper. "I know you have some backing already but we're nowhere near ready for an IPO. We also have to work on the presentation for the upcoming tech convention. I've also hired people to help me staff the departments of human resources, administration, accounting, and R&D."

"I get it," said Tony.

"Good. I'm also researching some rentals to see what we can afford. Yes, you're going to have to commute."

"We'll live in an apartment on top of the office."

"What?" she said.

"It's the perfect blend of work and life."

Bruce gave Loki an "Oh, shit" look.

"I'm shooting that down right now," said Pepper. "That really limits our options." 

As Pepper and Tony continued to squabble, Bruce turned to Loki, "So, what's going on?"

"Do you mean in regards to going to Thor's party or my search for my birth mother?"

"Either or both. Also, I know you always say no but I really think going to meditation and yoga with me would really help."

"Neither would change Odin."

"But they might change how you react to him. The one true mastery one can possess is over one's self."

"Yet you want me to go to Thor's party."

"It looks like he wants things to change."

Loki scowled and looked out the window. That was when his cell phone went off. He put it to his ear. "Hello?"

"Hello, this is Wanda from Arachnid Investigations. I was wondering when you'd like to come in to discuss the results of our investigations."

"Any time."

"How about Thursday afternoon? How about three o'clock?"

"That's good for me."

"See you then."

After Loki turned off his cellphone, Bruce said, "Good news?"

"I think so," Loki said. "Maybe. I don't know."


	10. Chapter 10

"I'm glad you came in," said Natasha as she sat at her desk.

"Why wouldn't I?" said Loki in the chair opposite her desk.

"Often people can't face the truth. They make up a lot of rationalizations no matter how bizarre or fanciful. I still get paid so I don't press clients to look at my findings."

"So, what did you find?"

"She's still alive. She's currently working as a senior partner in the law firm of Laufeyson, Carter & Martinelli."

"Does she have children? Is she married?" said Loki. If she had either kids or a husband, he was wary of disrupting her life if she hadn't told her new family about him.

"No, she's never been married and you are her only child."

Natasha showed a couple pictures of Leah. In one picture, she was tall, slim and her straight black hair was in a bob. She was dressed for work in a pantsuit. Another showed her in regular clothes, watering her front lawn of her house.

"She looks good," he said. 

"She doesn't have any current health problems that we know of. We don't go digging into medical records as that has criminal penalties as well as civil. If you want to contact her, I'd suggest that you call her at her work place as she might freak if you call her home number. Her law firm has a website so it's just more plausible for you to have found her contact number that way. She doesn't have a Facebook or Twitter account unlike her partners so you can't contact her that way."

"What do you advise I do?" said Loki.

"I don't tell my clients what they should do with the information I give them. I will say that if she doesn't want to talk to you, you should respect her wishes. Meetings have run the gamut from joyful reunions to awkward meetings where both are glad it happened but don't want to see each other again to utter train wrecks. I pretended to be someone in need of a lawyer and asked for some recommendations and she came much recommended. I haven't seen much mention of her in other people's social media outside of her work. I will say that you do have certain advantages."

"Like what?"

"She knows who adopted you. And with you being in the news lately . . . If she's been keeping track of you, it'll be easier for you to recognize you."

Loki nodded. "You have been most helpful. Are there any others fees?"

"No, everything was covered. If you ever need to use a private investigator's services again, please feel free to contact us."

They shook hands and Loki left.

***

"So, are you going to call her?" said Tony. 

"I think so," said Loki. The pot filled with beef stew was on the stove while biscuits were in the oven. While not a gourmet cook, Loki had been taught by Frigga to cook during all the times Odin was on the road. Thor had never really picked it up. "I have her work number so I'll call after nine." 

"You don't sound that enthusiastic," said Bruce.

"I want to see her but I'm afraid once I do things will change."

"How so?" said Tony.

Loki tasted the stew, found it lacking and sprinkled in some salt and pepper. "I'm not sure."

"I would try to see it from her point of view," said Bruce. "She might feel guilty for leaving you even though she didn't have very many options. I think the best thing you can do is listen and not judge her."

"I don't plan to judge her. I can't take care of a child and I'm older and richer than she was back then," said Loki.

"I just thought you might be angry at her for leaving you with Odin."

"That's not what's bothering me." 

Tony snorted. "I'm just trying to imagine you dandling a baby on your knee."

"I don't think that's ever going to happen. I don't want kids."

"What?" said Tony.

"Not everybody wants kids, Tony," said Bruce. "I'm frankly terrified by the idea of any child of mine picking up some of the things wrong with me."

"You're fine," said Tony.

"I'm better but it's always underneath the surface," said Bruce.

"That's why you always try to marry up," said Tony. "You might do a Warren Beatty."

"Who's that?" said Loki.

"Really, you don't know? He's retired for the most part but he was big back in the day. He got married when he was fifty-four and then had four kids."

Loki said, "Bruce, do you see Tony as a daddy?"

Bruce snorted which made Tony yell, "I'd be a great dad. Twenty years from now, I'll have a super handsome genius child and you'll all be eating your words."

***

Loki sat at the corner table at the dim sum place that she had suggested as a meeting place. He poured himself some tea and looked at the restaurant door. It was then that he saw her.She looked a lot like the picture Natasha had taken of her. He felt a strange feeling of connection just looking at her, seeing the origin of his features in her face. 

"Are you Loki?" she said. 

"Yes, and you're . . ."

"Leah Laufeyson." She sat down across from him. "Does your family know you're here?"

Loki shook his head. "No. However, I decided that I'm an adult and I didn't need their permission." 

"I heard that you were in a car accident. Are you . . ." 

"I'm fine, really." She has been keeping track of me, he thought. 

Leah gave him an awkward smile. "Why don't you ask me what you want to know?"

"I know that Odin is my biological father."

"Yes, that's true."

"Did you think of me?"

"Often, so very often."

"I really have to ask this. Why, Odin?"

"I know he's an old man now but then . . . he had a charm that a lot of boys my age back then didn't have. I thought as an older man, he'd have more of the answers to life . . . I didn't realize at the time that he was flailing as much as I was."

"I know you must have had good reason to let them adopt me. I did hear you were on scholarship and didn't have family."

Leah sighed before she said, "I was born to a single mother who died from a drug overdose so I was raised by my grandparents. Unfortunately, my grandfather died of a sudden heart attack and my grandmother was too frail to take care of me by herself so I ended up in the system at the age of ten. You do NOT want to be in the system. I got bounced around in foster care until I managed to stay with one family for my entire time at high school. But when I was eighteen, I aged out of the system. That means you don't get any more help from the state. My foster family was nice but they couldn't afford to do anything for me.

"I had a scholarship but I still had to work and take out loans because there were expenses that it didn't pay for. I was already scared by how much money I'd owe after graduating. When you were born, you were premature by more than a month so you had to stay for a short time in the hospital. I realized that if I kept you, the hospital would be coming after me for the bill . . . I would have had to drop out of school. I doubt I would've been able to be any sort of mother to you."

Loki nodded. "I understand." 

"I was worried about who would take care of you. I wanted you to be with a family from the beginning and not fall through the cracks. When Frigga offered to adopt you, at first, I was scared that if you looked anything like me, you'd be resented later. However, when I saw her being to so sweet to her son Thor and her crying when she saw you in the NICU, I felt like I could trust her. Was I right?"

"Yes, you were. She's been great." He felt good at being able to tell her the truth in regards to this.

"I'm glad. Odin wanted a closed adoption but there was an agreement to send me some pictures on your birthday until you were five. This is the last one I ever got." She pulled out a picture out of her purse, showing Loki and Thor with their arms around each other's shoulder. Thor was sporting a big smile while Loki was sticking his tongue out gleefully.

Loki stared at the photo. It really did remind him of how things used to be between them. "That's such a long time ago."

"Interested in steamed dumplings?" said the person rolling a cart full of steamed dim sum.

"I really recommend the har gow," she said, pointing to the shrimp dumplings.

"I'll take an order," said Loki. "I don't know what to call you . . ."

"The woman who raised you is your mother. How about you call me Leah?"

"Do I have any brothers or sisters I should know about?" said Loki even though he knew the answer.

Leah shook her head. "After I had to give you up, I swore to myself that I wouldn't have a child until I could support myself and pay off all my debts. Then I realized that it was something I only wanted to do with a partner but I haven't found the right partner until just recently." She showed Loki a diamond ring on her left hand. "How about you? Anybody special in your life?"

"No but I have been working on a company with a couple of friends . . ."

***  
It only hit him while he was taking a taxi home. He was no closer to getting back to where he was supposed to be. There had been no sudden revelation about why he was here. And if anything, talking to his birth mother made where he was right now seem more real than his past. This was someone he had never met before and couldn't have conjured out of thin air. 

"Loki, are you all right?" said Tony, serious for once, as Loki walked through the door. "She didn't yell at you, did she?"

"No, she was perfectly lovely," said Loki. "She even showed me a picture of me and Thor when we were five."

"Then why are you crying?" said Bruce. 

"I need to be alone for a while," said Loki.

He went into his room and locked it. 

"Loki?" said Tony, outside his door.

"Leave him be," said Bruce. "He probably needs to process things by himself for a bit."

As the sound of their voices faded, Loki felt the return of the thought he had at three o'clock in the morning a few days ago. Are my memories false? Am I insane? Have I been chasing an illusion all this time?  
He remembered the journal. It was very thick and had the feeling of having been used for years. He pulled it out of his desk and tried the lock again. He found a small took kit in his desk and found a screwdriver, which he used to force the lock open. He flipped it open and saw writing on the first page.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope to finish up in one or two more parts. 
> 
> Yes, Carter and Martinelli are who you think they are.
> 
> As for Leah's backstory, I've read many articles where many grandchildren are raised by grandparents because the parents are dead or in rehab/jail or are still on streets being addicted. 
> 
> Also, America has an insanely high-priced healthcare "system" and college fees have continued to increase, outpacing inflation. In this verse, Odin's and Frigga's healthcare plan would take care of any and all medical bills as long as they adopted Loki. 
> 
> NICU: neonatal intensive care unit
> 
> I did consider making Bruce, Loki & Tony a straight up threesome but did not due to it taking attention away from main story line. That said, I think it would actually be an interesting OT3 in an AU sense.


	11. Chapter 11

The handwriting was somewhat childish but recognizably his. 

"Happy Tenth Birthday, I guess. Dad's out on the road again but mom hired a really cool magician for my party. She gave me the Lord of the Rings trilogy because I had liked The Hobbit. She did say that she was worried I wouldn't like it because Thor had found it boring. I told her I'm nothing like Thor. She laughed and said she knows. She also gave me this journal so I can write it in when I want to write down something I want to remember or get something off my chest. She said that she knows that when she was younger, she had one and that often it felt better just to vent to something even if it was just to a book."

He flipped through entries about his parents discussing him possibly skipping a grade or even two and doing well at the science fair at the state level. There were a few entries about feeling lonely and how people preferred talking to his brother Thor because he was loud and outgoing and how Thor preferred to play with people his own age. A lot of the entries were about Lord of the Rings. Contrary to Frigga's worrying, he had devoured the books and loved the world building in them. Also, after some testing, he had been pushed up to sharing classes with Thor. Then he found an entry six months later. 

"Dear Journal, my teacher decided to talk about blood. She had us test our blood to see what our type is. I had AB negative. So, I asked Thor what his blood type was and he said he was O. I asked mom what her blood type was and she said O. That didn't make sense because even if dad was AB then I should be either A or B because mom only has two O genes. But if Thor is O then dad must have one O gene. So why am I AB?"

"I asked mom if I was adopted. She asked me why I'd say that. I said that I didn't look anything like Thor while everybody else's sister and brother look a lot like them. She looked sad and told me that I'm as much my father's son as Thor is. Is she lying to me? Is this why dad only seems to care about Thor?"

Loki found himself tearing up. 

A few pages later, he noticed that he had started writing something else:

"The day that Odin Borson, King of Asgard, went to the realm of the Ice Giants, he found an abandoned babe that he took back to his realm. He withheld the truth of his nature from him and that would prove to be a mistake . . ."

Frowning, he leafed through the pages and realized that more than half of the entries from then on were what he remembered of his life in Asgard. He closed the journal. Did I live in my head so much that this became more real to me than my real life, he thought. Did I build it because I was in so much pain? 

He heard the doorbell to the apartment ring. He half expected it to hear the voice of a bored delivery person dumping off food. Instead, he heard Tony say, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to see Loki. He hasn't told me if he's coming to the party or not," said Thor, sounding really aggravated.

"Well, big guy, I don't think he's coming," said Tony.

"If he's not coming, he should at least say it to my face," said Thor.

"It's not a good idea for you to bother him right now," said Bruce.

"Yeah, he just came back from seeing his birth mom," said Tony.

"He what?"

"Tony! Shut up!" said Bruce.

Am I the only one who doesn't suffer from verbal diarrhea, thought Loki. 

There was knocking on his door. "It's Thor, can I come in?"

"You're coming in, anyway, aren't you?"

"Pretty much."

Thor opened the door slowly as if he expecting a chair thrown at him. "Loki?"

"Do you remember the blood tests we did for that class?"

Thor frowned as he closed the door behind him and sat on his bed. "Vaguely."

"I was AB and you were O. Mom was O. Knowing at the age of ten that something isn't right even if you don't know exactly what is terrifying."

"You didn't tell me anything about this. I wish you could have leaned on me more back then."

"If you know time travel, it would help."

Thor gave him a look. "Damn it, Loki."

"Maybe I was afraid you'd make fun of me. It's what you do."

"It's the other way around, really. Anyway, how was she? I mean your birth mother."

"She was very sweet. At least I know where I got my looks and brains from. She was happy to see me. She's led a pretty good life as a senior partner at a law firm. I think that she wouldn't be one if she had kept me. I don't have any other siblings, at least not yet. She'd like to try to have one now that she's financially secure."

"I'm glad it turned out all right."

"I'm not so sure about all right. I think giving me up for adoption made her very wary of letting her guard down for a long time. She didn't say it but that's the vibe I get."

"I can understand it if she was. Dad seems to have that effect on people. Loki, we're family even if it turned out that we weren't blood related. I know dad favored me and I know it's hurt you a lot. I just want to say that it hasn't made me happy either."

"Oh, come on."

"No, seriously. He's made things very awkward between the two of us. And being the favorite meant I had to live up to some very high expectations. Did you know he wanted me to go into coaching after the Olympics?"

"No but I can see that."

"I told him I wanted to get into acting instead. I was really burned out on sports and often sports has an even shorter half-life than acting. While I respected dad's work, I didn't want to end up being compared to him for the rest of my life, especially if I fell short. He was pretty mad and said he wasn't going to support that nonsense of pretense and mugging for the camera. I told him I was fine with that. I had enough money to live on while I took acting classes and did auditions. Besides, mom would send me care packages that I don't think he knew about."

"When was this?" Reading the journal hadn't triggered a flood of memories to come to him. He had considered destroying it but now he felt that perhaps he should read some of the entries that weren't about Asgard so he'd know what had happened in the past. 

"You were in college at the time. You didn't even come back for summer break. You just took classes then, too. You just came back for the holidays."

"Maybe I didn't think there was anything to come back to . . ." 

"How about . . . How about we start from the beginning, fresh? We don't have much of a relationship now so why not build from ground zero and let us see how we like each other without this baggage? Come to the dinner party."

"I don't . . ."

"If you find it boring, you can leave right after dessert. Just feign a headache. I just want something other than this constant, pointless squabbling."

"You think we can stop squabbling?"

"We can't at least stop doing it constantly. Besides, I bought some mead and hard cider. You'll love it."

"Mead?"

"If you don't like it, I also have that beer you should find drinkable."

Loki sighed. "All right, on one condition."

"Sure."

"If this is a disaster, I don't have to go to any more of your dinner parties."

"Agreed as long as you or your friends don't go out of your way to make it a disaster."

"Agreed."

"Why does everything have to be a negotiation?"

"Because everything is a negotiation."

"You gave your word so don't skip out."

"Fine."

"I better go. See you next Saturday," said Thor.

Loki noticed that his brother had a huge smile on his face and resolutely decided not to return it. "Whatever."

He heard Tony say, "Are we going? Yes!" Loki briefly wished he had four arms with four hands so he could simultaneously throttle both his brother and his roommate at the same time. 

"Everything OK?" said Bruce. 

"OK . . . ish," said Loki. 

"Can I come in?"

"Just you. I can hear Tony being unbearably smug."

"I heard that!" said Tony.

Bruce walked in and said, "I made dinner today. Chicken pot pie. I just popped it into the oven. It'll be a while"

"Sounds good." He wasn't really hungry but he wasn't interested in getting any sort of mother hen type clucking at the moment.

"Do you want to talk or do you just want to chill for a while?"

"I'm all talked out. A most improbable thing but true."

"I have some calming music if you want to listen to it."

"I'd like that."

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not a LOTR reader and I have seen quite a few people online complain about how long the descriptions are and how much editing the books needed. 
> 
> http://www.redcrossblood.org/learn-about-blood/blood-types has a chart that illustrates how blood type is inherited. By the way, Odin is AO and Leah is BB so that's why Loki is AB. Frigga is OO and Thor got an O gene from both Odin and Frigga so he's also OO. 
> 
> I have the answer in my head how Loki ended up here but Loki himself won't ever find out. And even if he did, there's no real way to reverse it the way he is now.


	12. Prologue

Loki put on the Infinity Gauntlet for the left hand and cursed that he only had three stones with which to use it. If he had all of them, there was nothing that would be impossible. He stood on a frozen plain on Jotunheim. All the inhabitants had either hidden, fled or died. 

"Loki!"

Loki turned to see Thor. "You know you should have tried to attack me with my back turned. It would have been smarter." He noticed that Thor had the Infinity Gauntlet on the right hand. He had heard Thor had three stones as well and was disappointed to see that was true. 

"You think you'll get what you want if you had both these gloves? Does power mean that much to you?" 

"There are a lot of things I want. I wish that Odin had been as much my father as yours. I wish that people valued what I had to offer them. I wish that I had an actual people I could be part of. I suppose I'll have to make do with power. And you, what would you wish for? You have everything you want."

"I have impossible wishes, too. I wish this fighting would just stop. I wish you didn't hate me so much that you'd destroy the universe in order to feel better than me. 

"You win or I win. Not even Infinity Stones can change that," said Loki. 

They both raised their gloves at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a short chapter to explain how things ended up like they are. (I'm not a comics reader)
> 
> http://marvelcinematicuniverse.wikia.com/wiki/Infinity_Gauntlet There are indeed two Gauntlets in the movie verse.
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Infinity_Gauntlet is a comic series that shows just how powerful a complete set would be. 
> 
> I hope you find this explanation satisfactory.

**Author's Note:**

> Coaches often do earn more than professors at colleges/universities. And considering most schools actually don't profit from football teams but spend oodles of money and give out scholarships for it, I have ended up disliking the idea of college sports especially since players don't get paid professional salaries yet it generates tons of money for people other than them. 
> 
> I am not trying to downplay what Loki has done in the movies but wanted to explore how it would play out if it didn't involve magic or claims to the throne.


End file.
